Spiritual Leadership in the Home

I have had a few recent conversations, all with other women, about spiritual leadership in the home. Apparently, many wives feel let down in this area, which must be a common thing since Sanctus Real even wrote a song about it called "Lead Me".

Most of the time I try to defend the husband and direct the wife to look at the spiritual things he DOES do. For example, is he a good spiritual example in his own devotional, or prayer life?

So this led me to wonder if perhaps, in all of the ways husbands and wives differ, if this is just another area where we are thinking, or expecting, one thing and the husband has another totally different idea.

Like showing love. Husbands feel they are showing love when they go to work and support the family. Their long hours are an expression of how much they love us. In their mind anyway. Woman tend to want the husband to stay home more and spend quality time with them, cuddling and sharing their feelings ;)

Anyway, because I can, I decided to write a survey and see if there really is a different way of thinking between husbands and wives, as far as spiritual leadership in our homes. And I'm inviting you to take it, and ask others to take it, too. Keep in mind that to have an effective survey, I need men to participate, too ;)

So here's the link: spiritual-leader-survey There are only 5 questions, so it should only take about 5-10 minutes, depending on the length of your answers. And please be candid, everything is anonymous.

Hopefully, I will have some good responses to share later and help us gain much needed insight in this area. Or...the answers will all be about the same and men will have to search their hearts in order to step it up!

Thanks for participating.

"You complete me."

Ever wonder why opposites attract?

Many remember the now famous line from the movie Jerry Mcguire, when Tom Cruise lovingly says to Renée Zellweger, "You complete me." A famous line from a movie yes, but have you considered that it might also be biblical? In Genesis 2:18 God states "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

In the Bible God is frequently described as the “helper,” the one who does for us what we cannot do for ourselves, the one who meets our needs. A "helper suitable for him", it doesn't say one just like him, but instead suitable for him. One who completes him. One who will prepare the meal that he has hunted.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather let him go out and do the hunting and killing, while I stay in and sweep the cave!

Isn't it wonderful that God thought of all that when he created the first married couple?

So I challenge you to stop fighting your differences, and instead embrace them, having an attitude of gratefulness for the one God has provided to complete you.

Convergence - Where Faith Meets Life

I want to announce a womens event coming up at WWCN on Saturday, September 25th (9a-2p).

My friend Nicole Wick and Crystal Renaud, Executive Director of Dirty Girls Ministries, will discuss God, sex, sin, and the power of community. If you’re in the Detroit area we would love for you to join us! More info and registration can be found HERE. (The cost is only $15, includes breakfast, lunch AND child care!!)

I would love to see every woman I know attending. Trust me, if the subject of pornagraphy doesn't affect you personally, it affects someone close to you and most likely you don't even know about it.

If you’re wondering what Convergence is, here is some info from the website:

When the deepest and most relevant issues of life become the elephant in the “church room,” people suffer in silence, feel alone, and entertain sin. Yet this was never Jesus’ plan for his people. Rather, Jesus has called Christians to journey with one another as we center our lives on Him.

Whether directly or indirectly, sexual sin has impacted your life or the life of someone you know. Drawing from their own personal testimonies, Nicole Wick and Crystal Renaud will share their stories of Christ’s victory in their lives, as well as how an environment of honesty, compassion, and love creates an atmosphere for support and healing.

We’ll also be joined by Covenant Eyes who will be offering some Christian based solutions for internet safety, accountability, and filtering.

And this from Nicoles post...

Obviously this event is designed for women who have a history of sexual sin or abuse, or for wives who have a husband who has struggled with sexual sin. If that isn’t you, I bet you’re wondering if this conference is for you. Here is a brief list of other people that I think should attend this event:

~ Women who are involved in a church, small group, or women’s ministry, and as a result may encounter other women who need support in this area.
~ Women who are involved in youth or children’s ministry and may encounter teens or pre-teens struggling in this area
~ Women who have friend, family member, or co worker who may be struggling with a secret sexual sin personally or in their marriage
~ Women who are married
~ Women who hope to someday be married
~ Women who parent small children
~ Women who parent teen children
~ Women who parent adult children
~ Women who have internet access in their homes
~ Women who have (or whose husbands have) internet access at their jobs
~ Women who own a television (especially cable television)
~ Women who have any of the following delivered to them or their husband: Playboy, Penthouse, Victoria’s Secret catalog, Maxim, the Target Sunday circular, the JCPenny catalog, Sports Illustrated…
~ Women who have a smart phone or iPhone
~ Women who have a husband or child that owns a smart phone or iPhone

If you fit one or more of these, you should seriously consider attending Convergence. I hope to see you there!

Houston we have a problem...

Everyone is familiar with the 1st part of the 23rd Psalm “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” it’s read at funerals mostly. But what is death? True death is a separation from God. We are promised eternal life, so what then is the “shadow of death?” Could it be sin? Sin separates us from God. Fortunately for us, God sent His son to overcome death and sin, but most of us aren’t immediately freed from the bondage as soon as we accept the Savior. We spend time in the shadows, looking desperately for God to be near us, to comfort us, to keep us from fearing life outside of our sin. Or, in other words, life as we are so accustomed.

As Christians many of us live by the rule that we are to hate the sin but love the sinner. But the reality is most of us don’t know what this looks like, because the sin makes us too uncomfortable. We’re fine with it if the sinner turns from the sin the 1st time they walk into church, but what if they don’t? Do we have the ability to walk beside them through the struggle to overcome their sin? Or what if they don’t even see it as sin, what then?

That's where the problem comes in. We go to church looking for a community of believers who will accept us, and love us, and walk with us. Even if we are still in the shadow. But the church community isn't always very good at it. Or at least I'm not always very good at it. I sometimes feel like I live in a bubble. I am unaware of many of the real life, everyday struggles that many people, Christians included, are going through. And if I become aware of them I'm not always sure of how to handle them, so I tend to shy away from the reality of them. The truth is that I have a lot of learning to do.

When I first started in marriage ministry I was told to continually educate myself on marriage matters. What if the same thing was done by all of us, in any area we were unfamiliar with? Not only would it help us guard our own hearts and minds, but also help us, help others. It's a win-win.

Convergence (see following post) is a good place to start. "Where faith meets life." Our intent is to have events throughout the year to give people the opportunity to get the help they need, or the education to help those in need.

Either way you can't lose.

I am blessed!

This past week I have been gifted with a round trip ticket to Virginia Beach to see my daughter and her family, a pair of Brooks Running shoes won at an expo while in VA Beach, and dinner with 6 very special people at an amazing Italian restaurant. I am blessed!

However, when I think about the blessings of this past week, it makes me stop and think about Gods blessings and how they relate to my Christian walk. I thank God continually for His everyday blessings. An amazing husband, a beautiful family, a job I love, a church family second to none, and the list goes on. But in all of the blessing received this week I thought about what I would do if I didn’t have all of this temporal goodness in my life. Would I still be praising Him in the storm?

James 1:12 reads “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”
Now there is the ultimate blessing! The rest of this is just fluff. Enjoyable fluff, yes, but still fluff.

So while I am incredibly grateful for all of the blessings in my life, and the additional gifts bestowed this week, I am also thankful that no matter what, if I remain faithful, I am promised the blessing of an eternal life with Jesus.

It doesn’t get any better than that!